Bonjour my fabulous peacocks. How are you doing today?
I think the question is definitely meant to be asked… We all consciously want to be happy, but unconsciously, a lot of people are not ready for happiness because of… F.E.A.R!
Ether you want to have a successful business, a healthy loving relationship, living your life the way you want or a bangable body; are you deeply really ready to have these things? What will make you happy that you can handle?
You might think that I’m crazy because, of course we all want happiness… But happiness requires a lot of work and efforts, happiness “has a price”: change! Even if you believe in miracles, you need to induce them. And miracles happen when you get out of your comfort zone (wink wink).
So what does hold us back from happiness?
As much as we want to be happy, we tend to think that we don’t deserve it or that it is not for us, due to the environment, the lack of self-confidence, a very few support and more. I remember listening to some of my girlfriends wondering why this amazing man likes them… Why them? What is that special about them? Fake humility or not, these thoughts are blocking their path to happiness, because at some point, they more or less think they are true.
I have another friend who called herself an “asshole” because things come to her life easily and she thinks that she doesn’t deserve them because people always remind her that she got “everything easily”. That nurtures a feeling of guilt because fool says one day that you have to “work hard” or “suffer” to get what you what… If it’s easy, it is “too good to be true”. Thank life, this not always the case. Plus you have to see the difference between easy and simple. Even if things might not that often come easily, they can come as simple as that.
Some people are having hard time making peace with their past and healing their wounds to accept the present and embrace the future. It is so simple to hold grudges while it is way harder to work on happiness. Your past is THE past past and “negative” experiences should be considered as lessons that you need to learn. If you trust yourself and learn the right way, you should be confident about getting new experiences that will provide you the joy that you desire.
A lot of us want money for instance, but are afraid of how money could change them for good or bad. They are also scared that money could change their relationship with their people (judgement, critics, blames… and this is applicable not only for money), or bring them “rich people’s problems”. With money comes responsibilities… same goes with happinessˆˆ And some people just want money without doing anything to get it! Ja-ja-ja!
When I was 20 or 21, I can’t really remember… My life was getting better “out of nowhere”! I used to live in a very specific environment where trying times, sorrow and violence where my comfort zone. Unconsciously, I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and I started to change my life… But around me, nothing really changed… at least not for good. My people’s lives were chaotic and I felt so guilty for me being happy. I got depressed (for one day and a half) and I cried so much. I didn’t even know why I was crying for. My heart was so heavy… I didn’t like to see my family sad while I was happy. I wanted to trade my happiness for their sadness… I’d rather see them in fulfilled and take all their negative weight on my shoulders. Gosh! That was painful. And luckily, I had a conversation with my aunt who told me that I had the right to be happy and I shouldn’t want to take people’s pain because I deserve happiness. Nobody deserves happiness more than me. I will always carry those words in my heart.
The Unknown is pretty scary as well. I hear a lot of “what if it doesn’t work?” and I always answer “what if it does?” We are trained to think negative to protect ourselves in case it doesn’t work out BUT we are not trained to accept happiness if/ when it comes. That is something that we have to figure out on our owns. And it is not that easy. It is simple but not easy. How to behave when wonderful things are coming at you and all you experienced in your life were failures, betrayals, punches from life, misery and so on? Nobody taught us to welcome prosperity, successful business, money, love, goals etc. A lot of people get depressed over a sudden positive life change. Look at the people who win the lottery: a lot of them squander their new fortune and/ or end up in mental health services.
Unless your comfort zone is your happiness, that little one definitely holds you back from the pursuit of happiness. You do want something so bad but to get it, it will require some efforts and to get out of your comfy zone, which is scary (do you see the circle???) because you never experienced the process of doing what it takes to get it: unknown… Hum… We usually start to feel again when we quit the comfort zone. That is when the excitement comes back. You should try if you haven’tˆˆ New experience, new sensations, new you, discoveries, adrenaline, self growth etc… Oh my, oh my… It’s wonderful!
Let me share with you this: few months ago, I realized that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, while I wanted one so bad. But deep down I was sabotaging or picking up intentionally the wrong men for me, because I knew it wouldn’t work out so I couldn’t blame myself. Until I met this man that was just hot! We clearly didn’t have anything in common (ok, just few things) except being super hot (jajaja). I dated him without asking myself any questions because I knew, but it was just easier for me. And when I decided to cut him off because he gave me what I asked for: nothing, I asked myself why in the world do I do that to myself? And I admitted that is because I don’t want to be in a relationship. So I asked myself why, because I thought that a healthy relationship would make me happier. And I understand that is because I was scared! Not because I’ve been hurt by men, but childhood traumas. That was an epiphany! Then I worked on myself and got ready… In theory. So I asked the Universe AND my spirit guides and ancestors to put myself in practice (always be careful of what you ask for). Then I met this man, that I PRACTICED with. The first date was so great that I freaked out! Too smooth, too easy, too great, too positive. I “didn’t like it” because nothing was wrong… What the heck??? Yeah I wasn’t used to that and I wasn’t used to get what I wanted in terms of relationships. I had butterflies like a teenager and I felt happy. My instinct and old habits told me to be scared. So I decided to turn my self-sabotage mode on. Fortunately, I spoke with a friend of mine who yelled at me because self-sabotaging is no bueno. I realized that I wasn’t as ready as I thought in front of someone that I thought who was. Funny thing is that he wasn’t either after all (we kind of were each other’s mirror). But I worked on myself and two days later on was on the ready mode —–>>> happy mode!
These are just few explanations about why we are not ready for happiness, and for you not to be too hard on yourself and accept that you have all the reasons of the world to be unready!
Being ready, even for happiness, is not natural. You are NOT born ready. You learn how to be and if not, you need to reprogram yourself. That would be such a shame if you keep repeating the same patterns and miss the opportunity to enjoy the life that you really wish to have.
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That’s all for me my royal peacocks! I’m going to sleep. Remember to be grateful, mindful, generous, considering and drink plenty of water!
Peace n Kiss.