1986 babies are turning 40 this year!
And 1976 babies 50!
How to say this calmly??? I AM NOT READY! It is so weird so I decided to simply turn THIRTY-TEN! I need an extra five years since Covid stole 2/3 years of our lives.
But honestly I don’t even know what is it that I’m not ready for… Probably the number, and since Aaliyah sang “age is nothing but a number”, I deeply feel that!
It’s very weird because I’m NOT looking at the youngsters wishing I was 25 again like our predecessors did. My 20’s were great but I definitely don’t need a revival. I love the 40 year old Lya! She’s grounded, confident, straightforward, sharp, owns her successes and her failures. She is wiser and very comfortable in her own skin. But she has a serious issues with the “forty”! Even if GenX defied gravity and made 40 look super cool, I still don’t really see them as 40 (50 now), but I remember my Mom at 40 and people of her generation… And they looked SO groooowwwnnnnn, serious and super adult (in front of us. But let’s not start talking about the boomers).
And I’m so confused because I’m so far away from the idea of 40 year old… I still wear crop tops because… Your girl works out and has always wore them! I still wear my sneakers 24/7, I still wear sweatpants and hoodies, I still rock my large hoops, and my hair is still side parted. BUT I have to admit that my hair is middle parted time to time, I buy more and more heels. I significantly upgraded my style over the years and in 2025 I entered my African Queen era with more affirmation of my African heritage for my wardrobe.
I’m very intentional in everything I’m doing, my circle, because I have no longer energy for tormented and f*cked up people.
But inside of me an “adult youth” is yearning! I’m craving for more adventure, more challenges, more emotions, more discoveries, more doing (and I already am a doer). I’m so not done yet! I want to travel with my art and have pop-ups everywhere, I want to attend to international tournaments like the AFCON. I want to ride my bike in so many different countries, enjoy countless sunsets with my man, dance all around the world, have late night rides/ walks etc. And that’s where I’m conflicted because, even if I’m proud and fond of the woman that I am, I don’t fit in my vision of a 40 year old… And that bothers me! But I don’t want to be anyone else but me… Or a “QUEENER” version of me… But I’m not aligned inside… For a 40 years old, I feel too much or not enough. I’m definitely not where I thought I would be but surely where I’m supposed to be. And better and better is yet to come!
I guess I’m asking myself normal question since the society makes 40 a huge milestone. I’m far from have figuring everything out but no matter what I do, I’m grounded and unapologetic! I’m ME and I guess that’s the most important.
I guess I need to accept to be seen as the “new old”, even if I look less that 30, and kill that vision/non-vision/ sentiment that is not serving my purpose because I’m so grateful for being alive, healthy, loved and supported.
I still have so much to give and to receive but a small part of me whispers me that maybe I should slow down and lower some expectations to fit in I don’t know what box. But honestly, it won’t work out for me. So I have to accept my fate of being an adventurous spirit!
Well, that was the first article of the year for me and I wanted to share some thoughts.
Happy birthday to us and let me know if you’re turning 40 or 50 (ok I can accept the 30 years old…) and how do you feel and embrace the new decade.
Aight, I’m out! Byyyyyyyeeeee <3
