It’s not a crisis. It’s my New Era!
Everyone refers to turning 40 as a midlife crisis when you’re making some life adjustments. I pretty much disagree and call it a new era. When I look back, I don’t see four decades, I see five full chapters. Each of them taught me something different about myself and the world. Four different worlds like in video games which brought me to the fifth one: alignment.
Discovery (0-9 years old)
Veni, Vidi, Vici! I was a very curious child (now I’m a very curious woman!). I was thirsty for knowledge. I always had 10,000 questions and I’m so grateful that my family never told me that curiosity was a sin! They tried to answer as much as they could, and when they could, I had to find answers myself, either in books or the outside world. Of course my environment shaped me, I was very close to the male figures of my family, I was a tomboy (am I a tomman now?). I grew up in a project in Paris, with a Cameroonian background. Hip Hop culture touched my spirit as soon as I touched the ground. And with my brothers and my cousins, we were always doing some sport; but I hated it. But I had a huge ego, and ego was bigger than my disgust for sport, so I was very active (but damn it was torture). I also grew up in fear and that paralyzed me, but as I told you, I had the biggest ego and refused that my fear held me from doing what I wanted. And my ego was also bigger than fear, thankfully! So I was doing everything that scared me and everyone thought that I was fearless… or crazy! That’s why I don’t think that ego is always your enemy. But that’s for another conversation.
And I had the chance to travel to Switzerland at least twice a year (thanks Mom), and I was a very good student at school. I was so good at school that…
Identity (10-19 years old):
I ended up in one of the best schools in France: girl only private catholic school… OMG I hated it, it was a torture for me. But the best school for my education and life discipline!
Way before knowing the laws of manifestation, assumption etc., I understood that there were some aspects of my personality that I didn’t like and inherited from my family/ environment that I wanted to get rid of because it didn’t fit the person I wanted to be. I remember observing myself from a third person perspective and I didn’t really like what I saw. I started to change and shaped the personality I wanted for myself. I understood that I didn’t need to replicate the same patterns. And as I changed, the world around me changed as well for the better. It’s fascinating how teenagehood shapes us because a lot of us remain the same teenager inside. I personally have evolved but my core is the same since 1998 I feel like. I was very much into travels, creation and..
Exploration (20-29 years old)
What a decade! I manage to be abroad every other month! Damn! I really TRAVELED! And I went to school and got my first jobs bla-bla-bla! What was cool was that I was so into Hip Hop dance that it became my part time job as a student and I could travel the world while teaching dance and performing. The Hip Hop Culture became my culture and the Hip Hop community welcomed me with big open arms. I’m aware that not everyone one was as « fortunate » as I was, especially as a woman; and thankfully my experience was amazing for the most part. I discovered the world and cultures as a dancer, graphic designer, journalist and creative. I also fell in love with…
Realization (30-39 years old)
NYC! I fell in love so much with the city that I moved there at the age of 28. I was happy; so happy, I had life figured out. But as the adage says: « Man plans, God laughs ». And God laughed really hard at me! So hard that I had to question what was funny because I lost my smile, and joy… Some have the best 30’s but for others like me, it was the cold shower, the disillusionment, incomprehension and a form of depression. What I thought was normal as a child, hit me as an adult : trauma, patterns, family inheritance, more trauma etc. I had to deprogram everything in order to keep only what’s best for me and will serve me. And of course I had some great moments, especially the last 2 years of my 30’s.
I really had to learn what being an adult means; and it’s not just making money and moving as you please, but it’s conscious actions no matter what you do. Being ok with confronting, adjusting, demanding, fighting, loving, giving, forgiving, moving on etc.
I made a natural retrospect of those four chapters that naturally led me to…
Alignment
I’m 40 now and I love it! I’m at peace, I make sense to me, I accept my genius, my talents, my blessings and also my weaknesses, my personality, my shadows and that I’m it don » evolving! I feel more aligned than ever and I understand that every single person on Earth goes through shit and it’s not the Universe/ God conspiring against me! When it sucks, it really does, when it’s hard, it really is, but so far that’s how Life is. Sometimes we can do something about it and sometimes we can’t.
As I’m starting a new decade, giving a new direction to my business and my personal life; I know it’s not a life crisis, it’s my new era!
And you: how did the different stages of your life shape you ?
Aight, I’m out! ✌🏽
